Saturday, January 27, 2018

My Favorite Miriam Santiago Jokes

Saturday Stories
January 27, 2018




I

A lot of Miriam jokes are coming my way lately, which is nice. I collected and translated those that I like, so that means no insults about physical looks (which are not even remotely funny) and political jokes (which are funny but tragic because some of them got elected).


II




I forgot your name – can I just call you mine?



III



You can sell your house – because you now live in my heart. 



IV



Can you recommend a good bank? Because "I'm saving all my love for you."



V



Are you a password? Because I can't forget you, but I can change you anytime!



VI



Do you sell cigarettes? Because you give me Hope and More!



VII



You used to be his whole world. What happened: he went to another planet? 



VIII



A person who really loves you is like a good student during exams: even if he finds it hard, he doesn't look at the others.



IX

A father was explaining to his young son the difference between "confident" and "confidential:" 


He is "confident" that the boy is his son, and it's "confidential" that the boy's best friend in school is also his son.



X


Two friends were in a swimming pool. 


"I'm sure you'll float," said one. 


"Is it because I'm light?" asked his friend. 


"No, it's because you're plastic!"



XI 


And my all-time from Miriam: Snow White ate an apple and she got a lovelife. You ate an entire fruit salad, but you still have nothing. Isn't that sad?



Photo courtesy of PinoySecretFiles.com



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